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Welcome y'all to the



Glad Ya could make it Naybor!

We's got the best of the best
fur this Nu Yeer Partee!

This is a High Socyietee Shindig,
we wares nuthin but the sundee best.


Just Lookey Yonder at dem fresh Vittles,
can't find them in New Yorky.


HE HE! Looks like all the excitement dun got to Fred!


We gots games fur everyone, like sharp shootin' and


stuff like timberjackin', high divin' and evin fist fightin'!


Evin gots sum of the goodest dancin there is.


The state photee-grafer evin came down to capture the events.


Glad Ya'll could make it, but not as glad as Fred is rite now!


Y'all come back now ya heer!

A Redneck Letter

Dear Billy joe Bob,
I'm writting this slow because I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your Pa read in the newspaper that most accidents happen within 20 minutes of your home, so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address because the last family that lived here took the house numbers when they moved so they wouldn't have to change their address.

This place is really nice. I even has a washing machine. I'm not sure it works so well, though, Last week I put a load of clothes in and pulled the chain, we haven't seen it since.

The weather isn't bad here. It only rained twice last week; the first time for three days and the second time for fourdays.

About that coat you wanted me to send; your Uncle Bubba said it would be too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.

Bubba locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your father out.

Your sister had a baby this morning,but I haven't found out what it is yet so I don't know if you are an aunt or uncle. The baby looks just like your brother.

Uncle Bobby Ray fell into a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated; he burned for three days.

Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pickup truck. Butch was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were in the back, they drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down.

Your Favorite Aunt

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